|"It was a lie when they smiled|
and said you won't feel a thing.
And as we ran from the cops,
we laughed so hard it would sting"
- My Chemical Romance, Disenchanted
I would like to have something mysterious and interesting to say here. The truth is that anything mysterious and interesting I could come up with would be bullshit. And as much as I enjoy being a pretentious shmuck sometimes, I'm trying not to be right now.|
So I'm gonna try not to bullshit you.
I'm 17, bisexual, cisgender female.
I easily become obsessed; I am totally the (sometimes ashamed, sometimes shameless) fangirl-type, when it comes to bands, books, and shows.
I simultaneously love everyone and hate the whole fucking world. I am a wreck of conflicting opinions, hypocrisy, and hormones. Maybe most people are, but I'm very aware of it in myself and it annoys the fuck out of me.
Maybe that's not different from anyone else though.
I'm not sure about the obsession to be different. I find it exhausting. Just like. You do you.
I want to reach a point in my life where I feel intelligent, and excited about opportunities, and can feel free to love and hate, feel happy without feeling guilty about it. I want to tell people how worthwhile they are without sounding like I'm full of shit, because I do honestly mean it when I say that you, whoever you are, have value.
I want to always want something, because a life without wanting sounds apathetic and unsatisfying. Maybe that's greedy. It's not things I want to want. Although I'm human and I do want things as well.
Like comments. Sincere comments on my art that might help me become better. Criticism. Please.
(But that's probably rude of me to ask in that way.)
I want to know how any person is supposed to describe themself (and I want to know why the English language doesn't have gender-less pronouns yet - come on, it's 2014, we should have solved that by now). "Oneself", that's probably the word I'm supposed to use. Alright then. How does one confine oneself to words? How do people know what to write in these stupid "Bio" boxes? How does an entire life supposed to become this? (And what's wrong with typos? If you know what a person means, move the fuck on. It doesn't matter.)
It's stupid. If you want to know me - good luck, because no one even knows their own fucking self.
Drop me a note, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org, or send me an ask on Tumblr - for anything (besides spamming - I've had enough of that shit). If you are not okay, if you want help or need to vent, or even if you are okay and just want someone to chill with and talk to, I will listen. I'll give advice, and inevitably some of it will be really shitty advice, so you should probably really think about it before listening to me.
But, I'll listen to you.
If you're still reading this far... here, have a hug.
Go make art. Whatever art is to you. Do what you love, do what you want. Live your own life, don't take shit. Get revenge by achieving happiness, because the evil fucks that try to hurt you never know how to react to that.
Never say "YOLO", but... live like it. And I mean that in the most serious way possible. That phrase was around long before it was ruined.
And a couple of my favourite quotes, cause I have nowhere else to put them... (and yes, they are all from MCR):
"A smile is the best revenge."
"Be yourself, don't take anyone's shit, and never let them take you alive."
"Art is the weapon, your imagination is the ammunition. Stay dirty, and stay dangerous."